Boo Boo Butterflies

Nate and I sat on the sofa earlier. He wanted the "TV on. On. On."

I confess. I let him watch a lot of Sprout TV, as it does have some educational value. But, I was done with the morning work so had turned it off to spend deliberate time with him.  I though he might like to build something with his toy blocks, but no.  Instead he found some butterfly stickers in his mountain of toys in the corner near the sliding door. He brought them over and proceed to stick them on me, the dog and himself. He climbed on the sofa and stuck some butterflies on his naked feet.

"Do you want some socks?  It's a little chilly this morning."

"No. Boo, boo." He said and stuck another sticker on his foot.

"There's no boo, boo.  It's a butterfly."

"No. Boo, boo." He insisted as he peeled off another sticker, "One. Two. Free."

"Four, five, six." I said counting off the remaining stickers.

"Boo, boo." He said finishing off the job.  His feet were polka-dotted with butterfly stickers.

"Ok. If you say so. Butterfly boos boos. Go show mom."

"Ok", he said and handed me the empty sheet of stickers and scampered away proud of his achievement.

Purple Green Banana Truck

On the way to daycare Nate asked for a new song about a monkey and truck. So, I made this one up as I don't know of any other songs about a monkey driving a truck.

Once there was a monkey
who drove a banana truck
'round and 'round the zoo.

It was a purple and green 
and made everyone scream,

"Monkey! Give us bananas!"

"No"  he would say,
"You forgot the magic word.
Plus, you are rude."

And, off he'd drive his banana
truck 'round and 'round the zoo
Until they asked politely.

"Please Mr Monkey, can we have bananas?

"Yes. You said the magic word."

And out would fly purple green
bananas, bananas, bananas!
Until everyone ate their fill.

"Thank you Mr Monkey. Thank You."

"You are welcome", he'd say

And off he'd drive his banana
truck 'round and 'round the zoo.

Honky Donkey Monkey Tonky

Often, I make up songs while driving Nate to daycare, or wherever.  Some turn out all right.  Here's the most recent one.

Honky Tonky donkey
Don't mess with the Monkey
Or the Monkey's gonna step on you.
Rugh! Rugh! Rugh! (Make sound like angry Gorilla)

Honky Tonky Monkey
Don't step on the Donkey
Or the Donkey's gonna kick you
Hee Haw, Hee Haw, Hee Haw

Monkey Donkey Tonky
Don't mess with the Honky
Or the Honky's gonna tonky you.
Tonk, Tonk, Tonk

Fucko - A definition - It's not what think

It's not what you think.

We were watching ET with Nate. ET had died, and come back to life. Elliot and the other boys had stolen the ambulance, ditched it for their bikes and were being chased by police cars and fire trucks. "Trucks!" Nate pointed out to us. "Trucks!" He loves trucks.

"Yes, trucks. But, shh. Watch." He hushed and starred memorized b

y ET and the boys on their BMX bikes. They zigzagged this way and that, dodging the police at every turn. Then, when they thought they escaped and could take ET home, men on foot burst in behind them, snatching at their shirts and hoodies, just missing them. Police cars and trucks closed all exits. The gig was up. Escape impossible. Officers, with guns at the ready, closed in.

"Oh, no trucks!" Nate yelled.

"Watch." We said, and just then, ET's great big glowing heart caused the boys on their bikes to fly over the blockade and escape. "Look, Nate, they're flying!"

Excited, and jamming his words together, Nate yelled, "Fucko!"

"What?" Barb and I asked shocked.

"Da Fucko!" Nate yelled again and pointed to ET and the boys as they flew past the men with guns, over the street lights, up past the setting sun and into the woods.

See, I told you. "Fucko" does not mean what you think. It means, according to Nate: Flying past trucks on your bicycle with an alien in your basket.

No want it - Ook Dino-soar

So, my little darling, in all his glorious 2 and half year old bi-polar mind, screamed a hissy-fit about wearing a new shirt we bought him yesterday. "No want it. No want it!"

As I ignored his lament and wrestled with him into it, I said, "Here is the deal pal. When you can dress yourself, you can choose your own shirt. Until then, you are going to wear what I pick out, so pipe down and put your arm in the sleeve." Oddly, he did. Ten minutes later when we got to school he marched up to his pre-school teach and proudly displayed his new shirt. "Ook. Dine-soar." He said showing her his nice new shirt with a big green dinosaur on it."

"Oh, how nice." She said.

"Isn't that way." I snickered as I left and thought. "Yup. Daddy's right again."

Daddy Myth #1

I asked Nate to stay in the eye sight while I went inside to get the chicken for the barbeque. He was in the yard and just outside the window. In the one minute it took to walk inside, grab the bowl of marinating chicken and walk back outside he disappeared.

"Shit." I said as the heart started it's panic. We live in a very quiet neighborhood with plenty of space between the houses and little to no traffic except the neighbors. I wasn't much worried about an abduction, just the danger of two year old on the loose. As I set the chicken down I bumped against the patio table and triggered the panic button on the car key in my pocket. From the front of the house the car started wailing. I assumed Nate had gone around the other side of the house toward the front and so I went the other way to head him off. As I ran I pressed the off button, rounded the corner and discovered Nate had gone my way.

"There you are." He stood petrified in his tracks. He's never heard the car alarm before. He was terrified. Well, more shocked and a little scared.

"Daddy?" He asked wide eyed, lip ready to tremble. I thought to console him, but it was to good an opportunity to build the all knowing, all seeing daddy myth.

I said in gentle and sympathetic but cautionary daddy voice. "Yeah. I know. It's loud and scary. But, the car knows. Yeah. Remember, I asked you to stay in eye sight and you wandered off. The car was just letting me know you wandered away." He looked at me with total belief and bewilderment. His eyes said, "Holy crap. This guy is spooky good. He's got eyes everywhere. Not just in the back of his head. Dang. I better watch my step."

"Yes." I said confirming his belief by nodding my head.

"I go in-house." He asked with resignation to his new reality.

"Sure. We can go inside."

"Ok". He said and stretch up his arms so I could carry him. I did.

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